Influences of Domestic Violence and Abuse on Teenagers, Children and Developing Youth

Matthew Warner

Published by: Psytext

Thesis

Domestic abuse towards children, teens and developing youth leads to an ongoing detrimental trend that will be exacerbated by the difficulty with isolating the issue and managing it correctly before it takes its toll. 

Abstract

There are both internal and external factors that gestate the development of abusive behavior. The internal factors that attribute to what causes one to abuse another comes from the abusers sense of themselves and how they were raised as children, coupled with other external factors. These can involve substance abuse, mental illness, religious beliefs, poor living conditions or a combination of 2 or more elements. The external factors that may be associated to why someone becomes and abuser can be; religious idealizm, socio-economic standards, legal mandates or constraints and other social problem. Witnessing abuse while growing up may alter ones perception of how a functioning social facility is supposed to operate. Abuse takes its tole on not only the abused, but the abuser and those around them. This article will explain how to recognize and understand abuse/abusive behavior and how it effects developing youth. 

1. Young Adults and Teenagers

Young adults, teenagers and developing youth are more susceptible to the negative impact of emotional distress because they are still learning how to cope with their environment. They may not be able to manage with issues that steam from the feelings of being abused, or witnessing someone else who is being abused. In some cases, they also may not realize that abuse is even taking place, but have a strong understanding that they themselves, or the person around theme is unhappy. Teenagers that have witnessed domestic violence and abuse; whether in their childhood or teenage years tend to experience long-term effects. They grow up with they utmost guilt of not being capable of preventing the violence from happening and in some way, this makes them feel that they are to blame for the problems that surround them. As a result, they develop varying forms of what is known as trauma. These traumatizing events lead to different physical and phycological reactions such as; flashbacks, emotional paralysis, nightmares, anxiety and depression. Teenagers from violent or abusive environments are more likely to develop violent tendencies themselves. This can lead to the development of antisocial behavior; such as isolation and social withdrawal. This makes it more difficult to interact with their peers, learn and ultimately grow to be healthy functioning adults.

 

          a. Introverts and Their Behavioral Traits

Children teens and young adults may not necessarily demonstrate introverted behavior prior to their experience with an abusive environment, but due to the trauma they are experiencing they may subsequently develop these types of negative personality traits.

 

          i. Shyness

There are different types of personality traits that are demonstrated by abused children and teens. Shyness, being closed and not participating to the active social environment is said to be a temporary condition. Shy individuals are uncomfortable in the presence of unfamiliar situations and they would prefer to retreat to their own domain (Rogoza, Kwiatkowska, 2019). There are other factors that attribute to shy behavior which has made it the subject of many different types of studies and debates. One of which, is the difference between a teen who is suffering from an abusive atmosphere, to one that is simply demonstrating narcistic tendencies. There are two different types of shy.  

 

         ii. Shyness from an Abusive Atmosphere 

An abusive atmosphere is any area, place, situation or condition that allows a child to be isolated enough to be abused without the abuser being noticed. This is why domestic abuse (in the home) is so prevalent, but it can also take place on car rides, trips or even over the phone. There can also be environments that support or normalize abuse and will allow others around the suffer to antagonize them. This leads to the inability to develop the confidence to interact with others. 

 

        iii. Narcissistic Shy Teen 

The word narcissism stems from the tale of "Narcissus", a myth about an admired young boy who ultimately falls in hopeless love with his own reflection, which ultimately leads to his own destruction (Lapsley, Stey, 2012). The story is an analogy of how to much self love and self attention will lead to negative recourse. This can be from two external factors. The first one would be the lack of the required resources a child would need to develop correctly, which would push them toward a more selfish and anti-social personality. The second one relates to how children and teens that have environments that focus on their needs alone develop into adults. 

2. Drugs and Alcohol 

Drugs and alcohol play major contributing factors to abusive environments. The first major element to consider is the fact that the majority of these substances alter one's physical and emotional state. If someone is in a situation where someone else is abusing drugs or alcohol, their change in mood or behavior may lead to more detrimental actions in the homestead. The abuse of drugs and alcohol are also expensive and can lead to other problems. Loss of employment, the lack of necessary resources one needs to sustain themselves, not having enough food, being homeless with children, losing money to purchase food, or being able to make basic purchases. This leads to frustration. If someone in a situation of power who is also in a domestic relationship has an issue with substance abuse, they may ultimately choose to use that substance over taking care of the home, themselves or their dependents. This may lead to the gestation of negative feelings and emotional distress. Because of their inability to complete basic tasks that other people seem to be able to handle, they need the aid of government support, which leads to more emotional distress. Embarrassment, depression and the lack of resources leads to the substance abuse issue becoming more prevalent and causes more problems in child or developing youths environment. 

3. Adolescent Environments

There are different types of environments that children and adolescents spend the majority of their time in. Both of which have the potential to create an atmosphere conducive to emotional or physical abuse. 

 

   a. Educational Facilities

Abuse in educational facilities can come from the educator, or from other students. It can be physical, emotional or both. This form of abuse comes from many sources, but the primary cause is from the child or developing youths who is being abused ability to identify and report the negative treatment toward themselves or others. Because of their young age, they may not notice what abuse is and/or when it is taking place. Abuse from educators can be in the form of neglect, insults, unnecessary punishments, harsh grading, false accusations and the allowance of abuse from other students or bullying.  Students and other people who are active in the educational environment may use abusive measures to control, ostracize and persecute fellow classmates, students and even teachers. 

            It's common to notice that traumatized teens are poor academic performers and are less concerned about school work than other students. This is mostly because they are always trying to figure out ways to run away from their trauma to reduce the pain they feel inside. They could either be skipping school to abuse drugs, getting involved with unnecessary teenage dating to try and cover up their sadness, or they could just be too depressed to focus on school and oftentimes, even when they attend class they will still be absent minded. Due to the poor performance and criticism from their teachers, classmates and sometimes parents, that lack of encouragement takes away their drive to succeed and further accentuates their suffering. 

 

          b. The Home Environment

          Teenagers from violent and abusive homes are not proud to talk about their living situations because the may feel ashamed about their current living environment. They will begin to understand that there living situation it not "normal" when comparing them to other families who do not have abuse in the home. For this reason, they will hide the negative issues at home to avoid being criticized and side-lined. Children and teens who do not have the emotional support they need at home, may seek out the emotional support from their peers. In some cases, they may be going through some of the same traumatic issues that they are themselves.

          Youth and young adults who require the approval of their friends and peers can become more dependent on them and be less focused on education and self improvement. These teenagers are also prone to bonding on a deeper level with their peers because they are unable to trust others. As a result of the struggles with their own emotions. They also feel powerless and inferior to help in stopping the abuse between the family members or their parents and for that reason they begin to show other negative behaviors like developing eating disorders or performing self-mutilation just so they can bring back the feeling of having power. J.A Quinlivan & S.F Evans (2005) showed that one’s economic status and educational level also acts as a contributing factor. If one partner is more educated than the other as in a certain homestead, the uneducated one tends to feel inferior even when they are not. This mostly affects the men or male role model, making them want to prove their power, or control and this can result in abusive behavior. Same case happens when one partner feels they are not bringing enough money to the table or when a man or primary care giver doesn’t have a source of steady income. In this scenario they happen to think that their partners are seeing them as worthless or “good for nothing” and the anxiety and pressure result to violence and abusive acts.

4. Domestic Violence and Abuse Resulting from Cultural and Personal Values

Cultural values leading to these behaviors often spring from gender inequality in the community that the norms are active in. It is simple to notice that in society, men have a higher status compared to women whether in private or public life. Surprisingly this imbalance makes it acceptable to tolerate violence against women in societies where there is gender inequality. These different perspectives have also shown that before a woman is married, they are answerable to their fathers and hence giving the right to the husbands to “discipline” their wives whenever necessary. Our cultures have also led to discrimination against women due to various reinforcing reasons. Women are thought to be weak, lacking the sense of leadership and even though most men have believed this, there are other women who also don’t believe in themselves and have given men the utmost power to walk over them however and whenever. 

5. The Effects of Trauma

Trauma from domestic violence and abuse also causes a teen to encounter difficulties in their personal communication skills. They find it difficult or impossible to share this information with their parents or families,  even when they feel deeply upset by these occurrences. They always don’t think their parents will understand them and this makes them want to share with their peers more. Sometimes they avoid being seen as weak by their parents and families and therefore want to appear strong to avoid becoming a disappointment. A teen may feel confused and not sure about their feelings towards the event and this makes them think they need more time for the events to sink in before airing their thoughts. Other teens lack good communication skills even before the trauma and because of this they lack knowledge to express unfamiliar and complicated thoughts.

As a result of the domestic violence and abuse, various family problems may arise based on the behaviors of the traumatized teenager. According to A. Mullender, G. Hague, UF Imam, L.Kelly, E.Mallos & L. Regan (2002), the parents and family of the teenager may begin to think the teenager is taking advantage of the situation or being difficult intentionally. Some parents may try to ground their kids and keep them away from their friends or rebuke their peer group. Parents with traumatized kids develop hurt and anger the moment they notice their kids prefer sharing their troubles with their peers instead of them. Most importantly, these family problems may develop if the incident that occurred is not talked about.

Trauma has a long-term effect on teenagers and needs to be prevented before it occurs. Parents and family members that are victims of domestic violence and abuse should look for ways to resolve it because it affects their children and teenagers as much as it affects them. Since women are often the victims in most scenarios, they should learn to develop zero levels of tolerance towards the act. Women should know that being abused or violated in any form, whether emotional, physical or sexual form is an offence and they could take actions of defense by, for example, reporting the incident to protect themselves. Through this the children and teens in the house will learn that there are better ways to resolve conflicts as stated by H. Buckley, S. Holt & S. Whelan (2007). Risk taking behaviors also develop as a result of teenage trauma because the flashbacks episodes, and the guilt of not being able to be of any help eats them up. You may notice an abused teen doing things like reckless driving with the intention of ending their lives, or posting on their social media things like “I want to die”. Others will intentionally use blades to cut open their wrists while others contemplate jumping off a cliff. In these cases, very drastic actions should be taken as the teen contemplating suicidal thoughts should be a clear indication that they feel they are not enough and render themselves useless, overwhelmed and emotionally broken.

6. Prevention and Self Awareness

Educating the teenagers on such matters will give them disclosure when they are engaged in prevention education and awareness. Research has shown that embracing a gendered view would help in changing the attitude towards violence as it vividly indicates that domestic violence is embedded in unequal powers between both genders. Education programmes and policies should be created to benefit those without knowledge on the different ways to resolve conflicts with their partners or family members.

Parents and family members should play their roles in ensuring they are able to spot a teenager that is going through trauma or any form of depression. By doing this they allow the teenagers to grow with an open mind, good communication and interaction skills and most importantly, a healthy mental state. The ability to spot a depressed teenager gives them the chance to assist in various ways. A parent can accompany his/her teenager to the gym, equipping them with relaxation tips through the different workouts. 

          The parent, as stated by B.V Brown & S. Bzostek (2003), can also arrange for a thorough evaluation by a mental health professional where the teenager is furnished with life skills and counselled or advised against the violence and the abuse they have witnessed in their lives or while growing up. It is vital for the mental health professional to understand their take on gender and other related factors that cause violence. This treatment majorly focuses on helping the teenager cope up with his/her anger issues, taking responsibility for his/her actions and accepting the consequences and being able to express his/her frustrations in more appropriate methods.

Generally, when dealing with a traumatised teenager, it is important to avoid judgements, become supportive by showing the victims that the event was not their fault. Showing sensitivity is key despite the decisions they make remembering that they could still be fragile from the flashbacks but most importantly, empowering them to make them feel confident about themselves and their families.

There are many different resources that can be taken advantage of when considering searching or looking for help with an abusive situation. 

Canada.ca

Reach out to canada.ca to learn more about free abuse support systems and networks.

 

211

Call 211, or visit their website to learn more about free public support resources.

 

CMHA (Canadian Mental Health Association) 

This organization works closely with their client. They connect them directly to a wide range of therapists and other resources. This is another free government program.

 

Little Warriors 

Focusing on sexual abuse, Little Warriors offers counselling for children who have been subjected to some form of sexual abuse or assault. 

7. References

          Zlatka Rakovec-Felser, (2014), "Domestic Violence and Abuse in Intimate Relationship from Public Health Perspective" Published by: Health Psychol Res. 

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26973948/

 

          A. Rosewater, (2003). "Family Violence Prevention Fund" published by: "Candid"

https://search.issuelab.org/resource/promoting-prevention-targeting-teens-an-emerging-agenda-to-reduce-domestic-violence.html  

 

          A. Mullender, G. Hague, UF Imam, L.Kelly, E.Mallos & L. Regan, Sage

B.V Brown & S. Bzostek (2003) "Child Trends"

https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/journal-of-social-policy/article/abs/audrey-mullender-rethinking-domestic-violence-routledge-london-1996-xi-317-pp-4500-hard/86379778A8BA546DF1EAE01B7AE3FBF8

 

          H. Buckley, S. Holt & S. Whelan (2007), "Child Abuse Review: Journal of the British Association for the Study and Prevention of Child Abuse and Neglect" 

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10913336/

 

          J.A Quinlivan & S.F Evans, (2005), "Archives of Women’s Mental Health"

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0092656618301533

 

          Daniel K. Lapsley and Paul C. Stey University of Notre Dame In R. Levesque (Ed), Encyclopedia of Adolescence, Springer (In Press) Please address correspondence to Dr. Lapsley at this address: Department of Psychology 118 Haggar Hall University of Notre Dame Notre Dame, IN 46556

https://www3.nd.edu/~dlapsle1/Lab/Articles%20&%20Chapters_files/Adolescent%20Narcissismv25TNRFormatted.pdf 

 

          Lapsley, Stey, 2012

https://sites.nd.edu/lapseylab/files/2012/07/Lapsley-Stey-2012-Narcissism.pdf

 

          Maria Magdalena Kwiatkowska, "Shy teens and their peers: Shyness in respect to basic personality traits and social relations"

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0092656618301533

 

          Radosław Rogoza, (2019), "Shy Teens" published by: Science Direct 

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0092656618301533